Masturdate

You read that right, it’s Masturdate and there are no spelling mistakes.

For those who have not come across this term, take a look at the definition.

Buzzfeed had this amazing video titled – 9 Reasons why you should Masturdate and I suggest you watch it.

Since this morning, we had our battalion’s cohesion at East Coast Park, and East Coast Park being located at quite an inconvenient location, an idea popped up. I could go cycle after the cohesion end and enjoy being alone, as well as coming to terms with doing things alone.

Right after the cohesion, my friends invited me over for lunch at Burger King. After half an hour, we separated and departed. I headed straight towards the bicycle rental shop. Looking up at the skies, I had a hunch that rain would strike. However, the sun’s presence prevented my mind from entertaining such pessimistic thoughts. Once the bicycled had been rented, I cycled my way away. From East Coast Park, I ended somewhere at Gardens By the Bay within a short 12-minute ride. My speed was discerningly slow and the distance I covered was surprisingly huge.

By then, I had to make a U-turn back when dark cumulonimbus clouds can be spotted hovering around. 45-minutes into the ride, the unexpected arrived. A thunderstorm hit us and I was left stranded in an isolated shed for approximately 25 minutes. I had rented the bicycle for 2 hours and when the storm came, I am only 45 minutes down. Imagine the money I have wasted on returning the bike 45 minutes earlier than stipulated.

Coming to the decision of returning my bike early did not come by easy. I had to battle against the other thoughts pressurizing me from within. My mood was equivocal to the raging storm – crestfallen and tumultuous.  The incunabula of my date had started out bad and the depression keeps settling in.

Despite the forlorn atmosphere, I was so glad that I managed to remove the block as to why I wanted to be a doctor. You see, my character is attuned to providing help to others. Seeing people with problems, being present and equipped with nothing but helplessness is one reason why I dislike myself so much for. If I have the skills and abilities, I can provide aid whenever I see the ailing or those that suddenly collapsed. I have seen a fair share of those and I dislike that feeling of helplessness. This is one reason behind why I wanted to study Medicine so much. With these set of life-saving skills, not only am I able to provide relief, I would be also able to comfort the person through his or her predicament.

Thankfully, I did return my bike and quickly found my way out to Katong Shopping Centre where I booked a two and a half singing session. No matter how bad things can be, things will happen as described by Murphy and his famous law. He was right, bad things kept compiling up. The instant I stepped out of the rental shop and started to explore my way out, another episode of rain and thunder hit. I was stranded at a bus stop whose bus service only works during the weekends. Together with the other group of adults, we were seeking shelter in this tiny little bus stop.

The other group of adults were flustering over getting back home safely while I was quietly observing them.  They were discussing the possible solutions and booking a taxi online seemed to be the most promising one. Somehow during their call to the taxi company, I interjected their conversation and offered to look for a 5 seater taxi to fetch us to an area of common understanding. They agreed, but my attempts to grab the taxi failed. Luckily for them, a 5 seater taxi arrived, dropping off one passenger into the eye of the situation. Instead of picking all 5 of us up, the taxi driver told us he can only accommodate for 4. I guess I had to give u pon that taxi then.

After a session of furious clicking on my GrabTaxi application, another group of people came rushing into the bus stop. This time round, a taxi appeared and honked at us. Surprised by the sound, I turned and looked only to realise I was too late. The other group had boarded the taxi already.

I was in a state of sorrow. With my phone hanging on to its dear life at 3% and mine on the GrabTaxi application, I was secretly hoping that at least one taxi driver would be kind enough to answer my call for help and send me to my destination. By the time my phone stood 1% and lifeless, this uncle accepted my request.

I was so elated, yet worried. I was worried that the uncle would not be able to locate me and any of his attempts to call me would fail since my phone had given up its final bolts of electricity to show me the good news. Luckily, the uncle knew where I was and assured me over the phone that he knew my location.

When I reached the shopping centre, I headed straight to the karaoke shop and asked if I could push my bookings forward. They allowed me and gave me an extra 15 minutes to sing. Looking back, I don’t think my date today was bad. At least, I avoided the storm and came back home earlier to rest and recover from the exhaustiveness of the day.

I took 15 minutes to learn how to use the touch screen and searched for my songs. Taylor Swift songs were picked first, followed by rap songs from Iggy and Nicki Minaj. Throughout the entire period of singing, I felt that singing for too long drains a lot of my energy and sucked the life out of me. I hated it. The need to keep singing and singing and not stopping – trying to make the money worth the singing. That was literally one of the worst experience and feelings I had received from singing. I guess singing is a habit I have to do in moderation.

Since today’s my first time at Katong Shopping Centre, going back home without a map or any direction back home was worrying. I remembered seeing a map in my phone, but the details were a blur. I had to rely on the most primal compass to get back home – my instincts. My instincts brought me to another direction (as per the map in my memory) and I panicked. As much as I trust my instincts to guide my legs, I felt that I am heading a totally wrong direction. Turns out, I was wrong. My instincts led me on to a bus stop with a bus service that delivers me straight at my door step. I was so elated.

While waiting for the bus, I had two cravings that randomly materialized – a peanut waffle and crispy fried chicken. I must say as I am churning this blog post out, I had both my cravings satisfied and I think that was the highlight of my masturdate. Going out is way too exhaustive for me and the rain totally ruined it

Oh well, I guess it’s time for a respite to recover from whatever shock I had today.

And you guys should try masturdating. It is fun to learn more about yourself. After all, happiness must come intrinsically before you can elude them out and influence others.